Puppetmaster

The Trumpkin Paradox.

It's impossible to know which pumpkin head preceded the other. The juxtaposition resolves the paradox by authoritatively stating that both concurrently exist in order for us to laugh at both.

Tombstones for an Administration

They've just completed the tombstones for Donald's administration. Here's a sneak peek.

Fill in the Caption: Donald's Puerto Rico Outreach

When You're Having a Really Bad Day

No One Wants to Be Here

This photo is epic. Donald, posing with members of his Security Council, is signing a bunch of bills, but none of them are related to security or defense.

Upon closer examination with the SippyCupSnark2000 Algorithm, we can discern each person's true thoughts at the moment.

Donald at the G20 Summit

On the day the G20 Summit opened, Donald offered a weird tweet from out of nowhere:

"Everyone here is talking about why John Podesta refused to give the DNC server to the FBI and the CIA. Disgraceful!"

We have compiled photo documentation to show that Donald was 110% right.

June 12, 2017 -- A Day That Will Live in Infamy.

😙😙😙😙😙😙😙🍊😙😙😙😙😙😙😙

Donald and Kush, Rickrollers?

Word is, the FBI sees Jared Kushner as a person of interest. In Saudi Arabia, Donald and Kush are singing to each other:

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you





In Washington DC, Ivanka is freaking out that Orange is the new black. 

North Korean Snarky Pas de Deux With Donald

NK can't stop its snarky insults against Donald. Admittedly, snark is an addictive drug, especially when mixed in with a little "Cheeto dust". (Please don't snort "Cheeto dust".)

But Donald's thin skin means he doesn't have a sense of humor. For your consideration, this is what NK's official news outlet tweeted last Thursday.

The next day, he told Reuters, "There is a chance that we could end up having a major, major conflict with North Korea, absolutely."

NK did not take that sitting down.

A few days later, perhaps after being admonished from engaging in an escalating tweet war, Donald said, "If it would be appropriate for me to meet with him...I would be honored to do it."

NK issued its response via Donald's known communication channel, Twitter.

Ouch.

Now, I don't really think that Donald actually pays attention to what NK's official news outlet says on Twitter, but...what if he does? Yikes!

Jared! Ivanka! Save the world and change Donald's password so he can't access Twitter!

Sing-along time.

On January 20, 2017, the world watched in horror as Donald was sworn into the Oval Office. On January 21, they started singing this song.

99 days of Trump and his Wall, 99 days of Trump, if he flopped one more day and Tweeted away, we'd have 98 days of Trump and his Wall...

98 days of Trump and his Wall, 98 days of Trump, if he flopped one more day and Tweeted away, we'd have 97 days of Trump and his Wall...

The Answer to the Questions We All Want to Ask.

You know what the questions are: "What did you do, what did you see, what do you know?"

So far, this is what we've gotten in return:

I feel as though we've seen this episode before.

GOP House Fails, Donald Throws Tantrum

This pretty much sums it all up.

When Donald Loses Focus Watch Out

The name of the song is, "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye"

Multiple Choice Q: What Was He Referring To?

Defending himself, Donald said, "We must do a lot more with less." What was he referring to?

(A) Donald was explaining why he shafted dozens of subcontractors.
(B) Donald was highlighting that his six rounds of golf and three weekends at Mar-a-Lago in five weeks were work-related.
(C) Donald was defending his plan to use undocumented workers to build his wall.
(D) Donald was attempting to highlight the definition of irony, following his two Executive Orders increasing federal employment by 15,000.
(E) Donald was defending supply-side economics of tax cuts on the rich, where less federal income means we can do a lot more.
(F) All of the above.

(Ǝ) = ɹǝʍsuɐ ʞɹɐus ssǝ˥
(Ⅎ) = ɹǝʍsuɐ ʞɹɐuS

Those Beautifully Large Hands

He previously said that his hands were larger than normal, which makes me think that during his impeachment trial, The Emperor will offer to put on a pair of large gloves and repeat the classic quote, "If it don't fit, you must acquit."

Some Suggested Protest Banners

Many people have figured out how to get The Emperor to lose it, while others haven't quite figured it out. Tiny signs are impossible to read, especially for a guy who does not read much nor inclined to read anything but simple points. Also, he doesn't care about what you think on the issues, but he does care about his image and messages about his image.

Therefore, rather than holding up individual signs, to get your message across, you must coordinate and use banners. Most importantly, you must attack appropriately.

If you're going to line the bridge to Mar-a-Lago (or anywhere, really) here are some of my suggestions:

Reissued Photo From Live Press Briefing

Who Said it?

"I saw those numbers, and you like me, and I like you. That's the way it works."

(A) -- Krusty the Clown.
(B) -- Mister Rodgers.
(C) -- Elmo.
(D) -- Donald Trump.
(E) -- Barney, the purple dinosaur.
(F) -- Grover.
(G) -- Yo Mama.
(H) -- Gomer Pyle.

The Emperor Makes Demands

The Emperor:

For many years our country has been divided, angry and untrusting. Many say it will never change, the hatred is too deep. IT WILL CHANGE!!!! 

Damn right. In 2009 we should have clarified in federal law that Republicanism was Treason, subject to capital punishment. Heck, we could have solved global warming and income disparity in one fell swoop, people!

😆