Representative Devin Nunes' Actions, Described With Emoticons

Devin Nunes, chair of the House Intelligence Committee, won't investigate Russian involvement in hacking or Trump's team. In fact, he's now openly defending Trump, saying that there are no ties, even though he hasn't actually done any investigation to come to this conclusion. All of this is somewhat disturbing since it was Trump himself who said all this info was classified, to begin with.

It seems appropriate to distill Devin Nunes' actions down to a handful of emoticons:

👎🔎 🙉🙈🙊 😗🍑 💰👍

At this point, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop -- as in Pam Bondi style.

Multiple Choice Q: What Was He Referring To?

Defending himself, Donald said, "We must do a lot more with less." What was he referring to?

(A) Donald was explaining why he shafted dozens of subcontractors.
(B) Donald was highlighting that his six rounds of golf and three weekends at Mar-a-Lago in five weeks were work-related.
(C) Donald was defending his plan to use undocumented workers to build his wall.
(D) Donald was attempting to highlight the definition of irony, following his two Executive Orders increasing federal employment by 15,000.
(E) Donald was defending supply-side economics of tax cuts on the rich, where less federal income means we can do a lot more.
(F) All of the above.

(Ǝ) = ɹǝʍsuɐ ʞɹɐus ssǝ˥
(Ⅎ) = ɹǝʍsuɐ ʞɹɐuS

Stephen Colbert Totally Trolling White House

On Monday's show, Stephen Colbert took W.H. talking head (aka Senior Adviser) Stephen Miller up on his offer to go on to "any show, any time, anywhere" and challenged him to come to the Late Show noting, "if you don't show up, I'm going to call you a liar. And if you do show up, I'm going to call you a liar to your face."

Tonight, they worked the gag into the intro.

Bravo, Colbert!

Those Beautifully Large Hands

He previously said that his hands were larger than normal, which makes me think that during his impeachment trial, The Emperor will offer to put on a pair of large gloves and repeat the classic quote, "If it don't fit, you must acquit."

Some Suggested Protest Banners

Many people have figured out how to get The Emperor to lose it, while others haven't quite figured it out. Tiny signs are impossible to read, especially for a guy who does not read much nor inclined to read anything but simple points. Also, he doesn't care about what you think on the issues, but he does care about his image and messages about his image.

Therefore, rather than holding up individual signs, to get your message across, you must coordinate and use banners. Most importantly, you must attack appropriately.

If you're going to line the bridge to Mar-a-Lago (or anywhere, really) here are some of my suggestions:

Reissued Photo From Live Press Briefing

Who Said it?

"I saw those numbers, and you like me, and I like you. That's the way it works."

(A) -- Krusty the Clown.
(B) -- Mister Rodgers.
(C) -- Elmo.
(D) -- Donald Trump.
(E) -- Barney, the purple dinosaur.
(F) -- Grover.
(G) -- Yo Mama.
(H) -- Gomer Pyle.

What Not to Do When You're Tired

"It was at the end of a long day & he was tired & fatigue was setting in."
CNN on White House's response to Trump's hanging up on Aussie PM.

— Karen DaltonBeninato (@kbeninato) February 2, 2017

In an updated scenario, it's 3 a.m. and the phone rings while The Emperor is sitting on the toilet. He gives the go-ahead: Something about The Apprentice Show with Arnold and bombing.

Hey, it was at the end of a long day and he was tired. Can you really blame The Emperor for dropping the nuclear bomb on LA, when in fact, all he was doing was commenting on an 's-bomb'?