Monday, January 30, 2017

Top 5 Future Executive Orders

In light of the chaos and flat out ridiculousness of The Emperor's Executive Orders, the pressure is on to produce the highest quality Executive Orders going forward. Here is my list of the top 5, snarky, of course:

  1. EO to End All EOs: In order to shrink the size of government, for every Executive Order issued two prior Executive Orders shall be rescinded.
  2. MAGA: By Executive Order, and to remove any doubt, America shall hereby be made great, again.
  3. Declaration of Greatness: In light of recent criticisms, this Executive Order establishes that The Emperor is Great, that his hands are larger than normal, and that his penis is of enviable length and girth.
  4. All Things Constitutional and Legal: To remove all doubt and questions over The Emperor's actions, this Executive Order declares that all actions and those of his representatives shall be considered Constitutional and Legal.
  5. Alternative Facts: In order to Make America Great, Again, this Executive Order establishes a new cabinet-level position, the Alternative Facts Bureau, through which all alternative facts shall be established and disseminated.

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